true friends with a capital T..

"are you okay?" "im worried about you." "what happened?"

she showered him with care but then he was too hurt todo anything.

he could have said " im okay"

but then he said something else which made her more worried about him.

"just wish the best for me."

her heart lifted up with fear and her brows creased together.

she almost wanted to scream that she was really worried about him.

even if it was just a friend. a really good friend.

its wierd. she thought that he was the same as her.

knowing what hethought and stuff.

maybe thats what true friends are.

true friends with a capital T ...

f-f-finally back in singapore. urgh. was supposed to be HERE on 22nd. but then i had a fever so i was stuck there. and then came back the day bef0re oh yah. and i received his sms lke SO LATE i already decided to go WHATEVER..... so i didnt reply plus i was goin broke. my phone bill almost died for the second time. the first time it was.... cant remember. anyways
I SRSLY WANT TO GO OUT. being so zhai is damn boring.
i'll go shopping more shopping and shoppin. i'll ask my cuzins to bring me out.==*sighs* its raining outside.. depressing my mood isnt it?
ily.

random-ness

OMG!
urgh blogspot is still BLOCKED. damn. im not in shanghai now im in fuzhou doing stuff... went to 2 parks with my aunt and it was TTLY FUN.
yesterday went out to ktv 第一次那么疯...lol(: den gossiped bout stuff xD
have to go in 5 minutes... kelvin is a bit unhappy or maybe very unhappy sigh so WORRIED ABOUT HIM.
ily dear mr popular?
xoxo
minyen

and and i cant wait for 0722 to come(:

i cannot control the tears from coming out of my eyes. im sorry. memories gush through my mind. the first time i went to a psychologist. the first time i believed in teachers. that was fourth grade or fifth. they looked nice. they really looked nice. i told them everything. really i told them everything. the first time i got emo. in primary. i rememmber walking through the hallways by myself. it was so lonely so dark like how my hrt felt. the lights were not properly fixed. so it was rather dim. then they fixed the skl. ppl came ppl left. my life changed. i tot it was better until s2. i tot i cld trust my form tcher. i told him dat i was going to a new skl. i do not wanna blame anyone else, but the only thing i need now and since primary is a bit of encouragement dats all. is dat really hard? cant you just say min yen you can do it or sth... rather than telling the new s3 teacher EVERYTHING n den i remember of the day where we had basketball match the new teacher told me dat she has heard about the changing skl thing. she was evening telling me it was not time for me. i remember how angry i got and even where i was on the basketball court. i remember CLEARLY who was there, wat happened, who won.
im sorry about wat happened just now. i cant believe till now i cant even bring myself to trust someone older than me. you dont get it. all i wanted is just ask WHY CANT I TRUST ADULTS... EVEN MY TEACHERS.. maybe i am being too naive.
to me, trust is too big a word and i lost it after wat had happened.

Jennifer: hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII
I'M WITH MIN YEN NOW..........!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I SAW A PICTURE OF MINYEN, SHE WAS ABOUT 5 AND IT'S SO CCCCCUUUUTTTTE!
COME AND SEE~
min yen: jennifer is crazy we r suppose to do math but we are bloggin now (:

was talking to kelvin just now. he is really upset about his life in australia now. 真的好担心他哦。。。我觉得我的计划不能被取消掉了。。。
sigh...so worried about him...

i wrote alot just now but it all went blank
and if kelvin, if you see this, pleasee pleasseeee reply me on msn....
dont just ignore mee...

and JAE HO
omg i totally did not know we had dance practise today!
its lke me jingyi sarah brenna anna and some other girls and keyou and vince right?
the performance is next week and i do not have a hint of it.
anyways need to revise for 听写 needa get full marks dis ttime (:
min yen


few things i do not understand about life:
1. why do people avoid chances? its like over there and probably the chance is just yours.
2. life is simple but why do people make it so complicated. its like countries wanting/finding competition against each other even though it is not needed. for example one day country a has lke economic growth all of a sudden then country b will work like hnell to do the same thing. isnt it tiring? when there is no one to compete agaisnt with, it all suddenly becomes....stupid.
3. why do people call each other stupid when God made us equally smart? Americans, Africans, Chinese, can do the same thing and maybe get the same results in many things. if a person was born with disabilities and could not think properly, they can be smart in other ways. they can know how to face difficulties in life as they cannot always lean on their family for help. what if they all die one day? and i bet they will face the difficulties better, and probably faster compared to people who are spoilt. its better to be street smart then brain smart with nothing.

HAVE TO CONCENTRAAAATTEEE

(: 今天心情没有那么 遭吧？
如果上个post 的那个人知道我在写他/她 我说对不起 X(

现在我没有时间管那一件事情 有更多事情等着我做~

你知道吗，没有你 我照样会过得很好 没有你 是一件很微妙的小事 我不管你在想什么 我也不想要知道 你自己去嫉妒好了 他对我超级超级好也不管你的事 可以是朋友 也可以是更多 我不知道我是指你还是你 但是 我是知道我的生活 并不缺少朋友 我只需要一个人关心我罢了
明年不知道还在不在 如果不在的话 没关系 如果在 我会希望。。。
我现在都不知道我在干吗了 满脑子都在想考试考试学习学习 在这里顺便发泄一下下 现在朋友又出点点问题了 现在又多出你的问题来了 真的很累 你不明白的 这样说 虽然会过分 但是 我不明白你为什么要这样 真的很讨厌 没有估计到我的感受 我如果疯了 我不知道我会干什么。。。
sigh...

trust. its a really big word isnt it?
i really question it when i make frenz. even now. can i even trust them. or maybe. can i even trust you. that is what it shows. people are complicated. they are not as simple as you think. but then i convince myself its not right. people are simple creatures. seriously. i sound insane aint i? its like i get too naive n i get hurt then learn sth... its always lke dat. i dun get why.

why is it pity....rather dan....sth else
frenship?

it ends. i think. or
its continuing in a weird way

i tore my paper heart into a million pieces many times.
i did not tear it for anyone.
but even if you fix it for me
dere will still be a million scars there.

you are always siding with her. and u lied to me. i couldnt believe it. i thought we were.....at least frens.....== i hate it. its all my fault i dun blame noone. its just me i lrn it from the hard way everytime. u dun get it. i mean. ALL OF YOU wun get it. *cries deep in my heart*
Breathe SLow Alesha Dixon
im tired of I'm running outta patience 'coz i can't believe what the hell i'm hearing..
& speaking of hell it don't compare to this heat that i am feeling..
I love you to much it shows, all my emotions go out of control..
Good for you, bad for me when i can hardly see from the tears that flow..

Can't forget to breathe slow, count from 1 to 10 with my eyes closed
'coz ladies taking in & get composure for i lose & get composure
Im going to breathe slow,
count from 1 to 10 with my eyes closed
coz ladies taking in & get composure ladies never lose composure

Not gonna lie or even try,
you've got my world spinning..
& i aint the one who shot the gun
coz that means you will be winning.. ohh yeee
I love you to much it shows,
all my emotions go out of control..
Good for you, bad for me when i can hardly see from the tears that flow..

Somebody better hold me back..
your lucky i know know how to act,
so lucky i aint gonna attack.
I'm being calm and cool but believe me you,
it's taking everything to just breathe breathe breatheee


dis song is sooo rite for me. im juz tired of everything. im too gullible. im too naive. or maybe you dun realize it.== . its all sarcastism dun u no? im OKAY. im fine. im SMILING. IM SOOO LAUGHING FROM MY HEART.
its so stressing now. tests life tests. frenz. lies. frenz. more lies. i reli wish dat life is more simpler.
i need some 1 to bbe with me now. but i dun think anyone noes it. even though im writing it here it SO duz not work. im juz tired. i need some1 to encourage me time to time. dats all i want. is it dat hard.
我真的要哭了
我真的要哭了

=-=

scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs. scoffs.
dis is stupid.=-=
urgh....
*screams in heart*

its my choice. my life. you cant do anything to not let me do wat i dun wan. prevent me from doing wat i want to do. ever. even if we r juz frenz. or even class mates. or even school mates.

piano piano concert piano

其实 星期五的演唱会
如果哥哥知道的话 他应该也会去吧 too bad he is not here
想到钢琴就生气
piano tcher lied 2 me >< 本来说好我考五级的 现在不知道为什么变三==
but who cares....我现在忙着把我的第一首歌改好 加歌词 录下来 写第二首 第三首 。。。
真得好想要跟kelvin 一样厉害 他写了好多好多歌　guitar electric guitar ....
羡慕羡慕ing
他写得个是很不错XD
还记得 我叫他教我 但没有教到什么 后来自己学 已有灵感 就可以了
我还需要一个更original 1 第一首歌是在弹彩虹的时候突然想到
第二首歌我要更快一点点的 希望克一加歌词
加油拉~
min yen (:

虽然帮不到忙 但谢谢了



its my turn to help u again (:

现在都很晚上线没时间跟哥哥聊天 心情就越遭 很多很多事情要问他
i reli need some1 who can 挺我as much as he duz but is w/ me ><
even tho i say everything here it will still be very different

memories

i really havent blogged for a long time.
and and i realized that there's been so long i did many man things
all of a sudden
i think of the days in suis where we went crazy
cant remember names of tcher
the math tcher forced me to eat wellll not reli force
i lost my lunch card n den he told me i had to eat so i used his money n bought a manum. i didnt really finish it tho
and anthony accused me of stealling his jacket cuz mine was xtra huge n he lost his n i started screaming n mr whoever came.== lols
n kevin j. cheated off my science test paper i let him copy XD
and I MISS CASH'S BEATBOX! OMG HE IS SO COOL
and paul his bday is june 15 1993! haha older dan me by 1 yr 0 mths 0 days
and tommy he is so tall! i remember doing the sponge thing with him~ n he was so nice
n erika ~ she's a model now (: so cool
and katie (: she's so cute
and lily! i remember standing outside the korean division class when dey were having music n singing!
oh yah n i remember kevin teaching us how to dance TELL ME XD
and those afternoon trying to steal basketball court with the local division
dey always get it every thursday
A-A-A-NNOYING
plus they r ttly dirty minded *urgh*
and julia
erika n me lied to her b4
cuz she was eerrrr annoying?
anyways. imiss all of dem (:


and in shs :
me and alice stalked a guy X) cuz alice tot he was cute
nwe wanted to noe y he was in the local division dorm.
and alice tot me how to flirt but i failed
she told me to go to a guy n ask for the time
he did look cute
but i hrd he had a gf = =
n i remember the day where my xbf stlk me. in the rain. n the necklace part gave me the 2nd day i said it was cool
n i remember walking in the rain with another fren


how i wish ssis had fields n hills lke shs
den can sit there n eat cup noodle
i remember eating with cake alice and some other sexy babes
DEY R TTLY SEXY :D
AND THEY SURE GOT GOOD TASTES (:
and i remember the pair of lesbians who were always lying dere.
and the day when we sneaked out of skl to eat i bought sushi and ate at the fountain
anways i need to concentrate on physics report,
i love you
(:
(:

"frenship"

with her and her and him
i relize the real world
so i wana say "thank you" to all of them in a very SARCASTIC WAY if u cant see it
i relize the wrld isnt dat simple
full of 3 ppl
backstabbers, ppl who r gullible, more ppl who r gullible
i do not have a quan li to make u think wat i wana say
but yah
dats all wat i wana say
and watever u wana say n think


"frenship"
all over again

love of a different color; love of a same meaning

好久没有这样写blog

今天气时说可以算是挺high 的说
一开始时bio test 不知道为什么做到一半就超累的 后来真得不耐烦了 一直在写crap 所以就去洗脸== 后来好多了 但是呢 没时间把crap 重写 超讨厌的
test 过了超爽的 下星期还有phy test和bio test
然后呢 我 joxin jennifer 去那纸盒子 spraypaint scissors 做proj. 就在hallway ｓｐｒａｙ超多人都说好臭哦　我差点吐了　ｍｓ　ｆｏｎｇ　还一直跟我说dun go smell the fumes.... 可是没办法 那些东西一喷就会飞来飞去。。。==
oh yah n 在放报纸的时候 我们不知道为什么拿了很多那个obituary page 超恐怖的说n i was lke telling joxin omg so many dead ppl joxin said every minute got some1 die den i said yah i noe but i dun lke dese pages....我就快点那别的报纸盖在上面 你知道吗？那些照片超恐怖的说　很creepy 超不喜欢的　
lunch 的那些就skip 吧~
后来是phy 可是我已经做完了就有半个小时free time n 跟wc n vince 聊天　有一个part 朝尴尬的　快点change topic.
后来art class 我们就很无聊　就聊天　后来我就用那个glue gun 的东西　弄了一个小小的glue stick 幸亏没被老师发现
要努力了
加油加油加油拉～　
m.y.

20 i wld's

i wld make the word regretion
i wld join the opposite class
i wld think of the happy days
i wld think of the days when i didnt choose the other choice
lke dance
i wld want to be nicer to u but i cldnt
i wld stop saying not nice words to u but it juz slips out
i wld not understand u if i cld
i wld walk in the rain and cry
i wld walk to a cliff of a mountain and scream
i wld start playing basket ball and play for a long time
i wld dance and dance until i am out of breathe
iwld play the piano again and again or make new songs
i wld be silent if nobody wld ask me if im ok or not
i wld sit in the corner and think and think
i wld sit beside the window and stare outside
i wld draw and draw and draw
i wld walk whereever my legs will bring me to
i wld go to the beach for a whole day
i wld go to a toy museum for a whole day or mayb two
i wld smile and smile and smile but i will be sure dat it will all be real

test (:

finally finishh with it(：
现在只有两个月就考试了 要加油 加油加油～

actually all i want to say after what happened today in school is thanks loadz to the people who were there for me when i was :(
katrina macy amy yellow whom all told me to do whats best for me n it was really true cuz i did feel better immediatly after i said it
n yangjie and weicheng n macy n katrina who made me smile again after what happened
and now finally, i know what i have did is right. not of the decision i chose today, but of the desicion i chose before: to cherish what i have now. and i did. i cherished my family and friends most, and this is what i have today. thinking back, if i did not cherish them, or if i did not learn from my mistakes i would be dead. real dead.
i just learnt alot of things off this. people cherish more after they lost it. thats how i learnt. even though it was through the hard way, i still learnt alot from my mistakes.
but sometimes, if the soft way doesnt work, you will just have to learn it the hard way.

oh yah. im not changing next yr. if i am i prbbly will stay back 1 yr. so dats impossible for me. so i will either go biss or dulwich after s4 我現在只能認認真真的讀書 努力努力努力 要全力以赴了 不知道全力以赴的敏燕會考幾分呢。。
電腦不知道爲什麽不時簡體了 但應該沒關係 XD
爲了我的未來 我拚了！



謝謝今天所有幫助過我的人(:
讓我們一起加油哦~~
my(:

bcuz of u i have now
bcuz of u i haf lost
bcuz of u i regret
bcuz of wat u did im dissapointed
bcuz of who u r i am shocked
n bcuz of u, n bcuz of wat u did,
i choose to leave u




the very simple things of life
it falls, and breaks, and dies.
goes into the ground, rises, and falls.

its something people call a cycle.
something extraordinary, something special, something different.

yet, its a simple song, a simple story; like death
she's a baby, she's a teenager, he's dead

its yet a confusing story where people dont understand
despite its simple meaning, despite its simple way of showing, despite its shallow meaning of the word.

yet i do now understand.
its just a small cycle, where you loose as it falls and breaks, where its a simple story with a confusing meaning.






if i say..
if i say i were yours,
you would kiss my cheeks and say the words,
the very words hidden in your heart

if i say i wanted to leave you,
you would ask me why
while stroking my hair, u will look down
and stop the tears even if i know they are there

if i say i love you
you would hold my hand and kiss it soft
because i know you love me too,
and no matter wat i say u will b there for me bet all t


hey want to say, and all i want to say are the same few wrds.

2day went out for lunch roy kept shoutin hey in chinese to the random ppl on the road. some were lke shoked some were lke O.o n den we went to browns and eat.
i bought spaghetti but den i changed to sandwich n soup combo. lols. the person looks pissed the owner of the shop is 2 men, 1 from malaysia, 1 from singapore. n bside the soup dere was dis brown stick thingy. macy didnt eat hers, i tried mine n it taste sour.
nden timmy bought me macy n jingyi coldstone XD thx loadz timmy~ n den changwon n roy said they want my ice cream. actually, i asked dem first. den i try to give changwon but he keep saying 你不是要吗？n den i ate a bit. n den changwon alredi buy alredi so i give roy.
n den go back to skl. i ask changwon is yur icecream nice. n he said yes. 你要吗？n i said no. cuz mythroat dat time allergic again. but thx anyways.
n den in class, watch finish slumdog. its the third time watching it. n den watch the day the earth stood still. it was soooo exciting. watch a bit den we go down play bball
quite boring. jingyi n macy played with timmy nicholas jimi n two other guyz. i dun reli lke play with ppl i duno. so i play with yangjie. n den i 盖a s1 person XD. but it got boring. so i tlk to changwon for a while. n den listen music. den play with yang jie. he is so damn pro. rough n fast.
n den go home. n den swimminng.
tried to buy a candy from a machine but it stuck. my money went in, n i only got the change of $0.50 back = =the person started shaking the machine. i was even = = it wldnt drop down if u shake dat way. n e person gave us 3 rmb.
n den went home.
haf to study.
end

before i thought being a psychologist was fun, n my mom also tell me to be 1.
but now no. i know how the people feel when they go to one. upset depressed unhappy
now, being a doctor of any kind is the last job i will choose to do. all i want to do is prove to people i can do watever people can do, n better dan dem

childhood

i duno why, but now i sorta choose to face reality.
this is bcuz of wat nic said, n even tho jingyi n macy think dat he shldnt say dat.
i dun wan ppl to think dat im not normal. noooo way.
ms chang told me to tell mr ng bout it, cuz test coming, and its on sin and tan and cos graph.
im sick of telling each new teacher each time about it.
i know all i gotta do is relax. n it'll get better. i hope. at least i know it will. n i wish it will too.
but den im still a bit pissed at wat nic said. and btw, nothin is wrong with my brain. n yah. im normal. n i noe all i gotta do i chill. n relax.
now its lke s3 n im alredi slacking. i need to work harder. esp in maths n sciences and english. others is lke not very very important rite. without maths n sciences wat will u do.
so i muz jia you.
and i know i can do better dan wat ever i am doing now. cuz im minyen. i need to push myself more. plan my time better. but den i feel lke doin it, but i dont == tlkin is no use.
im not worried about anything, but after wat nic said 我感到从梦中醒过来一样，发现reality不是这样的. now i need to improve my grades
mom told me if i study well dis yr she allow me to change skl
im not worried bout dat.
n wen nic said dose things, memories of goin in n out of e damn hospital n clinic makes me pissed. dats y i hate doctors e most no matter wat. esp dat white robe dey wear.
i still remember once, mom brought me to a psychologist cuz i bcame emo n cut myself. i still remember dat. e scene where mom was crying bcuz of me. the times where dad said 你变坏了
n i also remember mom trying to soothe me saying u r normal, all u haf different is a different childhood.
and u no jingyi and macy, sometimes i ask myself. y m i different. ppl ask about it. r u cold min yen? y is your hand...?
the only thing i dont want is pity. i dont want to be pitied cuz im lke a normal person. juz... yah u get wat i mean.
now i understand why bad memories stay longer than good memories. life is short. damn short. no 1 knows when u will die. how u will die. where u go after you die.
but den i know, i wun die before i do wat im suppose to do when im alive. n i know all i gotta do now is study my best. live to the fullest of fullest of my life. i dun care wat ppl say cuz dats wat frenz r for. n i noe the evilest words r the best words.
i am trying to convince myself that im normal cuz i know i am. im trying ways to calm myself down, not get so agitated. den my hand will get better
n if nic sees dis post, all i want to say to him is sry. cuz i didnt reli wan to sorta shout at him.
actually i also want to say thx. cuz if he didnt say dat, i wldnt choose to face reality.
*tries to smile * i dun wan to say dat dis is a forced smile.
i duno wat to say now,
but i know that all i gotta do is do my best in everything, and live on.
i will try to listen wat ppl say to me about it..
i can do it, cuz im min yen.
:]

BRRIIIIIIIIII the fire drill

havent wrote my blog for quite few days. yesterday not alot of tchers came to skl cuz some went to the excursion with the sec 4s so yah. in chineese class we WERE bored. lols. i used sung jun's english bk n started revising vocab. he was playin on the electronic thingy... errr watdya even call dat?
not sure but yah~ n den went to bio sat lke for 10 minutes or sth, n den BRRRIIIIIII!!!!!!!! the alarm went....ok ok its the fire drill. so yah, n den we walked down casually REALLY casually. walked n strolled n tlked with jennifer. n den at the field, we tlk n tlk n tlk..den the ppl left, so we left lah !
now im doing chem. oh yah n i juz tlked to ms johnson, she gave me work to do, a vocab sheet. den she asked me to try to give her the essay tommorow. i think ok lah at least its not that hard right.
oh yah n juz now jingyi show me the bitch grl facebk pic. *scoffs* *scoffs* she duz look lke a bitch.
and yah, she is a bitch lols.
cant blive y the tcher think she is gd. but yah, she is wayyyy not.
but yahh.. who cares bout her. but the person memories is being erased away, at least i hope so, cuz the person is my really good fren. n to think that she has hurt the person b4, i wun allow her to hurt my fren, n to do dat, i wld not even let her do anythin again to my fren. even tho i do not noe who did wat first or who with whoever first, i still think that the person.... er wat m i tlkin bout. but yah. and something i want to say here. if i was that person, i would not with her cuz she is a TOTAL BITCH

even though its first impression of her, i still do not like it no matter wad, cuz she thinks im bad juz the first class, so yah. if i give her a bad impression the begginin of the 1st class, i dun give a dam care. cuz onli thing i noe she flirt so much in class, i think she is a bitch n no matter wat, her impression to me is a BITCH

if the person (my fren) knows what i mean:
its over and its forever over. its not worth it. very not worth it. even tho iduno wats goin on now, but i now, at least i know that u r fitting in with yur life now, moving on with your life, cuz i always see a smile on your face.
n most of all. keep dat smile on yur face always n forever.

i dun think i even get to slp tonite. stupid stupid geo. im alredi done with bio geoghaven finish. muz manage time better liao

ily

sunday

today is a busy busy day first in the mornin woke up at 9:10. it was considered late tho cuz i have to wake up at 9:00 den ea breakfast let the food sorta digest o.0? b fore i go to taekwondo class.
anways today in taekwondo class it was okay-ish i think? oh yah! there are so many little kids now. n dey are sooooo lazy! cant believe it... first thing as usual we had to run for lke rounds for 5 minutes it is not dat easy as it seems! i cant blive why dose kids arent tired after 5 minutes><>
n den we practised old stuff but yahh its sorta of a cycle. as it repeats and repeats n repeats. oh yah oh yah!
the teacher brought the stick to class today >< it =" =">
n den i got reli tired. cuz i concentrated for lke one whole hour which TOTALLY wasnt me. den the last half and hour i sat on the floor while looking at the tcher teach us. den e tcher say 你从那里坐到这里 快站起来 even tho he didnt haf the stick dat time i still did quickly or else the tcher will tell me to run or do 50 push ups....><
( dats worse cuz i cant even do 5 properly )
n den end class. n den went home for lunch.
did some hw......n den went for dance class.... i saw a bitchy girl. she is such a show off. n a bitch. urgh. cant blive im in same class as her.
okay okay her dance is better dan me. but yah who cares? duz she even dance better dan chris? no way! n den we learn a new dance n tcher say i got improveXD yay~ n the grl. she was wearing black shirt n jeans. i almost wanted to ask did u wear the same pants last time? XP n she put blue eyeliner today.
n den go home. n den went out to eat with my family (: cuz mom is going to switzerland for a week. its cold cold dere. hope mom will b ok (:
n den did geo hw did bio hw at the same time.
omg i shld b doing geo.....
shld stop writing.

a letter

do you know what a glass heart is?
do you know what a person will become after they have/ had lost everything?
i do not know of whom i am referring to, of whom i am writing to right now. this is maybe a feeling of how i am feeling now.
after i realize that people hate/hated me, i learnt that life is not perfect, and no one is. the prettiest girl in the world can be the most bitchiest one too. the richest man on earth can yet be the poorest man on earth, as he might not have love. greediness, selfishness, and many more bad characters in life, which include flirtish, hua xin, and many many more. i cant really possibly list out the whole thing, as there are too many bad things about people in life.
however, i try to be positive, and live in my own world. for the people who hate/hated me, i dont really care. life is short, so why go hating someone and wasting your life over it? you do not know what will happen to you the next minute. its mystery when you do not know what is going to happen; its history once you know what is happening.
i still remember what happened to me when everybody in the whole grade hated me. i remember that day. but now when i think of it again, i smile. i have learnt from the past, moved on, make new friends, and this is what i wanted. so, i am happy with what i have now: a huge family who loves me, friends who understand and love me, and many many more.
i do not know why i am writing this here. i feel grateful to everything and anything on the world all of a sudden, especially those who are not really... alive?
for example music. if there wasnt music in my life, what wld i do? i am grateful to them. to it.
for some reason, i am grateful to those who gave me bad memories, or you can say insane memories. it is because of them, now i treasure more. my life is more perfect than they think it will be.
xoxo
END

MY. GLASS. HEART

今天还算ok拉~
心情跟昨天跟前天 差不多一样
突然之间有种失落感 矛盾 的感觉

如果。你爱上。你朋友。的男朋友。 会怎么样
如果。你心痛了 心碎了。会怎样

wt m i saying...

anyways

My. heart. is. made up of glass
easily broken. easily hurt.
my. heart. is. made. up. of. glass
tired. of. being. hurt.
tired. of. being. broken.
my. heart. is. made. up. of glass.
broken once. hurt. twice.
filled with. scars.
it screams. it. cries.
and. tries. to say. to you.
oh. please. dont. break.
oh. please. dont. hurt.
my. glass. heart.

"FRIENDS"

cant believe how tired i feel now. i duno i thought that i have already "patched up" my broken hrt n sewn the peces back together, but now i feel it ripping again.

its lke a glass hrt,
when you nudge it
when you poke it
when u let it go n it falls
it breaks.
into a hundred n thousand million pieces.

Even if you find all those minute pieces,
even if you try to glue them back together
or even if you try to fix it again
there are still a hundered n thousand million scars dere
cuz dats a fact you cant change

its my hrt.
i want to tell you.
for the past yrs
i've been trying hard,
reli hard to patch it up.

and i did succeed,
cuz i got frenz
as i lrned from my mistakes, and
now i treasured dem more dan u r doing now.

but den till i met you,
my hrt falls apart again,
my hrt is hurt all over again,
my hrt is crying every minute again
just because i learnt the new you.

im tired u know
im trying hard to fix my hrt
im trying hrt to fix my soul
im trying hrd to fix my life
i tot it was already ok
but den u hurt me.

because of you im tired,
because of you i question friendship
because of you i am hurt
beacause of you watever i dun want to happen is happenning

even after i try to heal my hrt,
u hurt it even more
all i want to tell u is
my hrt is lke a glass hrt,
not able to face pain or hurt
so please let me free
let me heal my hrt once more...

random random thursday

bio bio chem chem lunch phy art art
bio:
went to lab (: den we found out we lost the data table = = ms rosalene was lke telling us we shldntb lke dat felt guilty. n den ms rosalene said dat she know dat i am smarter dan now but i didnt reli do the best i cld.. ( haf to agree) did a play on ventilation i was the diaphragmXD

chem:
notes. stuff. manage to persuade ms fong to push back the test to next thursday

lunch:
cldnt go back to class cuz dey were having test. den wen class start mr ng came out n scold us. say dun b so noisy n yah. 2moro also go ttest.but i think im going to be lke at the gym or sth. not at class.. at least try not to be. or else tcher scold :(

phy:
did the report. wrote it in 10 minutes. den switched it first with kaka. den with luwee. didnt get much comments so i told jennifer to help me comment.

art :
spraypaint. soo addictive. ms tay say if we hand it up lke dat we will get 1 for our score only. den we pasted it onto a piece of huge red paper. with black and whitehrts (: it looks rlei cute yah? (:

LOVE FOR ONE LOVE FOR ALL
our words on the poster
(:
cool yah?
lols

END
loves.
min yen

2 partsXS

从昨天开始就超级超级忙的说my weekly schedule
tuesday: math tuition with macy
friday swimming
saturday english class with joxin n her bro n my bro
sunday taekwondo n hip hop

urgh...喘不过气来了　这几天都好晚上线　　kelvin 应该早就睡了　所以帮不上什么忙　不好意思噢～　没想到我今天居然finish hw... except for maths... now i haf to lke finish all my hw in the day cuz my whole week is lke sooooo busy....urgh...
3.14.......白色情人节～　真得好想收到礼物哦～～dat will b reli reli reli cool(:




i suddenly tot of memories of s2. i do not know why i cant think of the gd memories. my head is lke filled with the days when people quarrelled. things flying around XS.
be fore when i came into ssis. n first saw s2d i was lke wth = = cuz i saw lke ppl standing on table n yah... but now im used to it... i duno s2d is lke a changing point for me. lke loadz of things. i relaize how ppl can change i realize how ppl r lke it when they are they're REAL SELF. im lke confused. i was hurt emotionally. i juz realize this not long ago. now too. i am still hurt by the same person. EMOTIONALLY HURT. it sucks. i tot b4 if i get hurt my frenz will not get hurt. even a bit. so i didnt reli care much bout it. but den i duno y i still think dat if i get hurt myself ppl wun get hurt no matter wat. i tot i cld protect dem. or at least try. i mean i always think dat dis way i wun loose any1 in my life. not a single person. but now i know getting hurt hurts. ALOT


END

to kelvin

其实3。14 你要ask her out not ask her out its yur choice but den luv cannot b "rushed" wat i mean is 要lke yahh juz follow yur hrt n stuff yah? i mean u cld either juz ask her out or give her a choco u made or cake right? lke wat i said on last last conv. dun think too much. PLUS DONT EVER THINK THAT U R A BASTARD OR ANYTHING CUZ U R NOT 1. u didnt know dat it happened and it wasnt wat u thought rite? so yah, juz jia you with 3.14 and dun think too much


min yen jia you's for u yah?~
jia you jia you jia yoouuu



dun think too muuch

LOVE LOVE LOVE

怎么追到她的心：
你有60-75% 信心dat she lkes u too:
try to b closer to her
to be nicer to her
when she looks unhappy try to tease her and give her encouragement (:
when she is happy or high accompany her and be high together XD

你有80%的信心datshe lkes u too
hint to her that u care bout her life ( everything dat is happenin to her); when she tlks bout her frenz tlk bout yurs too lke all dose funny stuff XD and memorable stuff (:

你有90% 的信心datshe lkes you too
bake her stuff ( cookies cupcakes....) watever that she likes to eat
give her stuff ( watever stuff she lkes) toy bears choco or mayb a simple card ( make it funny.. lke draw a teddy bear dere and write"hi i am a cute little bear (: bla bla bla :D)

u have 100 percent she lkes u/she loves u
even though she is with her frenz ask her lke to go for a walk around the skl or sth =.= wat i mean is both of u can haf yur own time together and juz chat (:
IN SIMPLE HUMAN WORDS ....
SAY I LIKE YOU AND ASK HER OUT

also another thing:
if u r still frenz and u think she lkes u
if she is not the kinda gal who gets jealous easily, dont have to read the below stuff
but if she is ....
errr wat crap im tlking bout... i alredi asked u dis b4 = =

but yahh~
most importantly
1. have confidence when tlking to her... or at least try yur best
2. smile to her and make loads of eye contact with her
3. follow yur hrt (:


加油~ ~ 加油~~ hope you 追到她~
btw dis is not all of it ... i mean i cld juz think of dese stuff XD will write more lah ~~~ any ways gl (:

its raining
let it rain
let it heal the scars right inside your heart
let it wash away the memories where you've loved before

u r soo pissing me off cant blive of how you cant even trust yourself believe in yourself. its not dat fishing hard rite? urgh. watever is right is right watever is wrong WILL FOREVER BE WRONG
PLUS
think about yourself. have you ever really sat there and thought before. thought of what you did wrong in the past. i did that before. THANKS TO MY DARLING DEAR FRENZ (I AM NOT TRYING TO BE SACARSTIC) i learned from the past AND MOST OF ALL from my own mistakes ! i lost ALL BEFORE thats y i treasure it more than you now.





消气了．．．

I cant belive i'm inlove with you....
let me here,
oh open your heart.
gimme the key to your soul

让我听着你的爱情故事，
你的那甜言蜜语，
就对我一个人说好了。
我会静静地听，静静地听
从白天 陪到黑夜
永不分离~

让我帮你写你的爱情故事，
记下我们甜甜的生活，
第一次手牵手的时候。
我会好好的爱你，永远的爱你，
每份美妙，每时刻的爱你~

whole mind is about SPRAYPAINT omg it is soooo addictive
in art class we were lke first spraypainting mine and luwee's emo man (: we got sooo addictive den we started spraying on paper XD
hansika n rebbeca made a R+H it was so sweet (: i cant belive that graffiti is fun we almost wanted to paint the walls tooo!!!
n den we cut the back of our notebooks n spray painted dose too it was reli reli reli reli EXTREMEELY COOL!

1。世界上是不可能让一个人喜欢上你，你只不过能尽量争取，让他对你有感觉
2。男的要主动点 dun let the grl wait too long...

y m i answering kelvin''s question here......_. aiyahh but who cares juz gl with her

hows life there...fitting in? ><
bet its reli hot dere rite...
new skl? new frenz?
sigh... its been too long...since the last time we tlked
so now i duno wat to say...:(
anyways juz gl for everything....u no wat i mean (:

life is a tough tough road.

"take them out of school....learn until like that... what's the difference?"
who wldnt haf got :( if dey're mom said dat...
i no im not lke sis ....
im not as hardworking as her u no
when u saw the report card u onli said dat the grades rnt dat gd...
i kept thinking wat bout the gd things mom... u've never said anything bout it.
i told u the comments were gd n u said the tchers always write dat way
i use it to encourage myself. cuz i lke gd comments n tons of encouragement....esp from my family...
sigh...
i duno y im lke saying dis...
but
im going to prove dat im so much better dan my sister. i must do it...
cuz dat way u''ll encourage me more rite. the way u encourage sis.

letter to ct

sigh...i cant believe im stuck at home and not at brilliance now :(
haf alot of things to say to ct
i think i'll say ithere...
christina: i miss you ALOT u know i may sound a bit..les? but how much i miss u i dun think can b lke written in words n even if i write it it will fill up more than this page. i cant blive im not with u 2day and playing with u and macy n other ppl im sry :( i have alot alot alot of things to ask u
lke.... how r u in scis? r the ppl nice dere dya haf frenz ? hows life now?...
i really really miss u alot ct. u no for the whole day my mind is filled up with all the happy n sad days with u n macy n hedy n joxin. i remember the day when we were at brilliance n i ate the sundae n we tlked bout sick stuff XD it was so funny rite? we tried brainwashing u with it ! AND AND do u remember the corn thingy macy told us XD
it was reli fun days (:
lemme tell u stuff dat happen in ssis. now macy n i hang out with each other she's lke a sista to me (: i think macy is being more independant alredi. i'll try my best to help her (: i wun let her be alone next cca, and i wont let her be with the ppl who she DUZEN lke in cca (:
tommorow is valentines day, sooo HAPPY VALENTINES DAY ~
dey had a valentines thingy and harry dedicated a song to MR NG JI WAI! it was reli reli reli hilarious. and me jingyi christy macy joxin n hedy were lke *woot**claps* den we went to find harry IMMEDIATELY n he said he wrote the name as a grlz name ! haha ~~
life's being a bit difficult now cuz i haf to make alot alot alot of discisions. but its ok, its all stuff dat every1 has to go through (:
MOST OF ALL AND ALL I WANA TRY TO TELL U IS.....
I MISS U ALOT N LOVE YOU LAOPO!
min yen a.k.a christina's husband (:

goin to hong kong soonXD
not goin 2 skl 2moro n day after ...lols...

钟雨静 一路走好 RIP

原来生命真的那么脆弱
钟雨静 一路走好

上中的每一个学生和老师都不会忘记你的
钟雨静 RIP

今天去了很多学校 因为有可能要回来
今天听说 上中有人在美国出车祸死了 九年级的 很担心
今天my grandmother进 医院 虽然去看过了 但是还是不放心:(
今天在医院看到了一对很贱的夫妻 竟然在自己母亲面前吵架 说自己的母亲很倔 ....真贱
END

痛

累了 hrt hurts..

(:

为什么想哭的时候就哭不出来..不想要哭的是后却哭的出来....
为什么会那么的累....
aiyah....
没想到holiday我也想那么多....XD

* smiles* jiayou ~ 一定可以的~ (:
:)

in singapore liaoooo

MIN YEN IS RELI RELI HIGH TODAY !
yesterday went out with amanda n other ppl (:
at first i cdnt find the stupid way = = but who cares
den e guyz were playing some weird
den me n amanda went down.... den we went to eat XD
den went shopping
den went to bishan XD
den amanda bought a shirt

toDAYYYYY I WENT SHOPPING AGAIN!
LEVI'S WAS LKE QUITE CHEAP
so oooooo me n my sis bought jeans all together for 99
haha
i bought a shirt
later im lke going out again~ (:

nothin much to say
END

to kelvin XD

heyy kelvin
dis time you are not unhappy (: or mayb yes? i no nothing now at least not much but then i am very sure that the wound in u is not healed yet and and i think dat you juz need time isnt it? 你虽然已经 in australia and for sure u will miss all yur frenz n of cuz u will b lonely alone but den u got all of us here XD AND ME!
n in reply to yur msn pm
虽然我不知道你的伤口在哪里 深不深 但是呢 u juz haf to know that....你有我 由我来为音乐天才加油~
加油加油加油哦！
:)

skl randomness

Min Yen IS VERY VERY VERY VERY HIGH 2DAYYY~~~
going for holidays on friday ! yay~ haha
oh yah 2day new math tcher come he's called Mr. Ng
he is anice nice tcher XD
gi jun damien n keyou was lke solving a question lke crazy n den when kaka told me how to do i was lke == omg so easy ! juz dat thingy minus dat thingy den e answer is out XD den lunch me n hilary went 2 eat (: AND AND me and hilary were going to play on the ice den the person say so big still play? aiyah cannot mehh play ice very fun leh XD
den go 2 english class
*skip* *skip*
oh yah when packing bag gi jun help me pack haha ! say bring so much books back n den i was lke yahh muz revise haha (: thx lah~
haha but i dun reli revise maths >< muz start liao!
den cca ~ so cold ><
mr ng attack christy with the frisbeee! so bad ><
den we took mr ng's bottle and ask him to give us the metal 1 dat he always go banging on the table !!! we are going to BREAK THAT BOTTLE! and we are going to stop noise pollution ...
aiyah not in the mood to write...
cya...

random (:

MIN YEN IS IN A GOOD GOOD MOOD TODAY XD yay~
lol(:
im history class mr clare didnt come XD den me joxin n hedy drew the propoganda thingy damien's country was shitapore X(
den hedy n me try to tell damien dat u canbring gum into singapore but u juz cant sell X( aiyah...
dey dun blive :(
but who cares
den it was assembly
me macy christina joxin n hedy sit together XDmy leg was lke麻le..XP
den in physics we ranup the stairs lke few times XD
den we PUSHED THE WALL (: haha i was lke leanin on it... he told us the walls were on rollers n can move 1 i tot it was real = = cuz mr lloyd told us the skl going to make the classroom bigger den den he told us to push the wall haha
cant move
den lunch time i ate bread n peanut butter harry pake me drop 1 on the floor >< aiyah waste food :( den i took another 1 ...(: play piano with christinaXD fun fun she is so pro...my tcher so strict dun lemme play song so boring!
den pe practise (: haha amy kept moving the portable goal post XD den i use hand to throw in the soccer ball XD
den chinese (: watch finish the show the little girl is the guy's gf ! omg (: haha dey're lke so sweet together XD 羡慕羡慕～ｎ　钱婆婆很nice (: n when in the end the grl won 钱婆婆was lke *pouting* so cuteeeee (:
haha
den in bio tlk bout graphic organizer XD yay~
den go find geo tcher with weicheng manage to persuade mr tyrrell to give us test next tuesday not tommorow
but who cares! IM NOT COMING NEXT WEEK (: WOOOOTTSSS XD
will probbly go out with amanda on dose days (:
haha (:
END OF DAY (:
(: let it be a good good day tommorow (: yay~
cya (:

这感觉已经不对。。。

我不配作词：方文山　作曲：周杰伦
这街上太拥挤
　太多人有秘密
玻璃上有雾气在被隐藏起过去你脸上的情绪　
在还原那场雨
　这巷弄太过弯曲走不回故事里这日子不再绿
　又斑驳了几句
　剩下搬空回忆的我在大房子里电影院的座椅　
隔遥远的距离　
感情没有对手戏
你跟自己下棋
还来不及仔仔细细写下你的关于
描述我如何爱你
　你却微笑的离我而去这感觉
　已经不对　我努力在挽回一些些
应该体贴的感觉我没给
你嘟嘴许的愿望很卑微在妥协是我忽略　
你不过要人陪这感觉已经不对　
我最后才了解一页页不忍翻阅的情
节你好累你默背为我掉过几次泪多憔悴而我心碎你受罪你的美
我不配


现在的心情好乱哦。。想哭又哭不出来。。像骂人不知道骂谁。。sigh..why? juz why?

pissed pissed pissed off

真的真的真的真的很很很很很生气
不明白你在干吗 不明比你在想什么
我只知道 你好像 真的把我惹火了
就那么简单

*pissed off*ing

kelvinn...

kelvin...:S
你知道吗？我真得很不想要写这个 因为我说过 你不开心才写的不是吗？n昨天是谁叫我不要担心的呢？好，dont care bout me. 可是如果你的朋友知道你这几天不开心，你觉得他们也会开心吗？wat bout shirley? k lets not tlk bout her..
but den if ur unhappy n u dun tell ...u no u will turn insane 1 day? u will get lke deprreseion u no ... where's the happy kelvin? why is it now lke the unhappy 1 now? if u dun say wat happen u no dat i reli dun understand wats happenin if u dun tell me anything...n u no 一直以来都是我在帮你，你不开心的时候，我在帮你不是吗？可是你现在不说出来，这次又不知道发生什么事情，我是不可能不担心的。。
i duno y i wana say dis
but...
拜托你说出来好不好？
你还有我这个朋友不是吗。。。
juz ... juz 开心一点。。
我觉得现在每个人都需要开心的你。
无论发生什么事情，都会好起来的~
你要勇敢，cuz dats the kelvin i no....or mayb u juz haf to 勇敢的面对
and and 说出来会好很多
不知道要说什么了
但是呢
要天天开心，好不好？
dis letter is lke not reli happy in the beggininng ...cuz...yahh X(((
but den i juz want u to be happy,这个，你是知道的吧？

kelvin

to 音乐天才
我不的不写。。哎呀 wat happened?
u no i dun reli blive dat u r ok....even tho i shld trust u...
cuz if some1 is happy dey wun go lke writing "i juz want to lie down and never wake up." unless u r reli emo? but i dun think so even tho u changed...lols...at least i no dat when u r unhappy yur personal messages are always sad :( n isnt dat sad enuf?
plus u reply so slow i almost freaked out X( i tot u....
*shakes head* aiyahh juz b happy(:
juz tell me if sths wrong k?
cuz i dun wana no n tlk to the sad kelvin :( not fun.
so u muz b happy
bet dat she and all yur frenz want the happy kelvin rite?

sigh..

以前的你很开心，以前的你更乐观.现在怎么了？为什么很容易难过？以前的你都会帮我不是吗？现在， 都是我在帮你，你开心后，不久，我心情就不好了。跟你说发生什么事情，你只是说几句话 就算了 以前的你到哪里去了？那么现在你不开心的时候我来帮你，那么我不开心的时候谁来帮我？不可能是你了，因为以前的你已经不见了 现在的你不像以前的你 一样开心一样positive 了 你变了真得变了 我觉得你的朋友都肯定要开心的你不是吗。。
开心的你到哪里去了？
以前的你到哪里去了？

memories

星期六到底要不要整老师呢？
最后一节课了， 应该可以吧！
plan 1:
during snack :
find things to burn XD
put sugar into tcher's pocket
ask tcher to buy alot of fd for us (:
lke chips n chocolate n food!
paul said he will onli buy healthy fd X(
den i said buy apples for us XD
haha
i wana see how his expression is when he digs out the sugar cube in his pocket haha im so meaaan!

plan 2 (dis is even WORSE)
bring candles to skl
burn it during snack time
...think i'll ditch dis plan
its too mean


突然好想念以前的朋友特别是cash kevin erika sooyeon katie paul tommy n every 1 else !
i still remember the day when me n kevin were cheating! haha so funXD
nn i still remember cash's bbox! it was sooo sooo sooo cool!
n erika n sooyeon n katie! all of us did the poster n tcher said ours was better dan the guys XD
and and the time me n tommy had to do the sponge the tcher thingy ! aaahh tommy was so nice dat day XD AND AND i remember we all got a cup of free hot chocolate!
oh yah! n i remember paul's bday same as mine ! :D but he is 1993 but who cares XD
and and and i remember we peaked into the korean stream class cuz dey were singing ! n dey were reli gd!
n john! n richard....even tho he's a bit sick n insane
n jenna! n joy! n 两个哥哥！n lily! and and and so many many other ppl!!
dat was all in suis!

and and in shsid!
i remember when we lrn tennis for pe! so fun
everybody squeeze in 3 courts
den played with violet and played match with 2 other grlz !!
n n tiffany! haha call her 蓝蓝she will scratch u><>
n ginny! she is very cute XD
n chanel! n jeannette! n candice! and carolina! and elise! and every1 else XD

n i remember the camp!
i dun remember names now X(
n i still remember dat embarrasing time X(
it was and accident andand it was so dark over there ! plus plus it was a small matter all of u all say me n him together :( crazy ppl X(
oh yahh n i remember dat little kid
i play with him he smack my face stupid kid
den the parents go scold him haha
poor poor kid but y he muz go smack my face in e beggginin i was still playing with him = =


aiyahhh duno wat to write liao
see you (:

音乐天才～

音樂天才：
哎呀哎呀！怎麼沒有寫歌了！上次聽到你的歌不知道是多久以前的事情也!所以呢，你要快點寫歌~~你是音樂天才耶不寫歌怎麼行呢？所以呢~你要快點寫歌啦（：

anyways,你現在在australia過得怎樣呢？有想她嗎？ lol ...im so meaann XD她一定也會想你的～現在好無聊哦你都沒跟我聊天！這些天心情因該好多了吧？ ！ fit in了嗎？有沒有人欺負你啊xD

haha(:

我現在是無聊到沒事做了。 。 〉〈 哦對了，你有去那個ａｍｕｓｅｍｅｎｔｐａｒｋ嗎？上次你說的那個？不要去太多次阿！以後心情不好在去發洩！ （： 要天天開心哦

哥，对不起 真得很对不起
但是我知道，对不起，那三个字根本不起作用。。
都是我的错。。记得上次我去学校，看见我你就和哥走掉
你们还恨我。。
虽然我知道一下子是不可能要你的原谅的。
哥，你说你原谅我了
但是不知道为什么
我还是不相信。。 不是我不信任你
是我还怕 你是否真正原谅我
哥。。对不起。。

to kelvin (:

to the nice nice nice MR KELVIN (: (:
HIHI! ITS MEEEE (: lols...
首先呢，要跟你说。。。sry...didnt reli manage to help u dat day X( omg first time didnt manage to help you....AAAAHH x( but den i think when u r reding dis thingy u r happy (: err dats wat i hope n i bet dats wat every1 hopes ....including her rite XD
haha its sooo fun teasing u :) now i didnt reply the posts on yur fcebk = = but who cares?!?!
n second thing dat i wana say is HAPPY NEW YEARRRR !!!!
p.s.( i hope that in 2009 kelvin will b happier n smile more yah? )
n third thing dun say why are you being so nice to mee..AGAIN cuz i do this cuz u r my fren (: n cuz of some stuff (: think u no wat i mean...a thing dat happen 2007 -2008 winter :( think u remember rite... cuz dat time kelvin was happier n he help me but now he is :( so i muz help him b :D aiyahhh
y m i tlking bout sad stuff :( b happy 4 ever n jia you
bet u will fit in in aus. soon (: