i cannot control the tears from coming out of my eyes. im sorry. memories gush through my mind. the first time i went to a psychologist. the first time i believed in teachers. that was fourth grade or fifth. they looked nice. they really looked nice. i told them everything. really i told them everything. the first time i got emo. in primary. i rememmber walking through the hallways by myself. it was so lonely so dark like how my hrt felt. the lights were not properly fixed. so it was rather dim. then they fixed the skl. ppl came ppl left. my life changed. i tot it was better until s2. i tot i cld trust my form tcher. i told him dat i was going to a new skl. i do not wanna blame anyone else, but the only thing i need now and since primary is a bit of encouragement dats all. is dat really hard? cant you just say min yen you can do it or sth... rather than telling the new s3 teacher EVERYTHING n den i remember of the day where we had basketball match the new teacher told me dat she has heard about the changing skl thing. she was evening telling me it was not time for me. i remember how angry i got and even where i was on the basketball court. i remember CLEARLY who was there, wat happened, who won.
im sorry about wat happened just now. i cant believe till now i cant even bring myself to trust someone older than me. you dont get it. all i wanted is just ask WHY CANT I TRUST ADULTS... EVEN MY TEACHERS.. maybe i am being too naive.
to me, trust is too big a word and i lost it after wat had happened.