test (:

finally finishh with it(：
现在只有两个月就考试了 要加油 加油加油～

actually all i want to say after what happened today in school is thanks loadz to the people who were there for me when i was :(
katrina macy amy yellow whom all told me to do whats best for me n it was really true cuz i did feel better immediatly after i said it
n yangjie and weicheng n macy n katrina who made me smile again after what happened
and now finally, i know what i have did is right. not of the decision i chose today, but of the desicion i chose before: to cherish what i have now. and i did. i cherished my family and friends most, and this is what i have today. thinking back, if i did not cherish them, or if i did not learn from my mistakes i would be dead. real dead.
i just learnt alot of things off this. people cherish more after they lost it. thats how i learnt. even though it was through the hard way, i still learnt alot from my mistakes.
but sometimes, if the soft way doesnt work, you will just have to learn it the hard way.

oh yah. im not changing next yr. if i am i prbbly will stay back 1 yr. so dats impossible for me. so i will either go biss or dulwich after s4 我現在只能認認真真的讀書 努力努力努力 要全力以赴了 不知道全力以赴的敏燕會考幾分呢。。
電腦不知道爲什麽不時簡體了 但應該沒關係 XD
爲了我的未來 我拚了！



謝謝今天所有幫助過我的人(:
讓我們一起加油哦~~
my(:

bcuz of u i have now
bcuz of u i haf lost
bcuz of u i regret
bcuz of wat u did im dissapointed
bcuz of who u r i am shocked
n bcuz of u, n bcuz of wat u did,
i choose to leave u




the very simple things of life
it falls, and breaks, and dies.
goes into the ground, rises, and falls.

its something people call a cycle.
something extraordinary, something special, something different.

yet, its a simple song, a simple story; like death
she's a baby, she's a teenager, he's dead

its yet a confusing story where people dont understand
despite its simple meaning, despite its simple way of showing, despite its shallow meaning of the word.

yet i do now understand.
its just a small cycle, where you loose as it falls and breaks, where its a simple story with a confusing meaning.






if i say..
if i say i were yours,
you would kiss my cheeks and say the words,
the very words hidden in your heart

if i say i wanted to leave you,
you would ask me why
while stroking my hair, u will look down
and stop the tears even if i know they are there

if i say i love you
you would hold my hand and kiss it soft
because i know you love me too,
and no matter wat i say u will b there for me bet all t


hey want to say, and all i want to say are the same few wrds.

2day went out for lunch roy kept shoutin hey in chinese to the random ppl on the road. some were lke shoked some were lke O.o n den we went to browns and eat.
i bought spaghetti but den i changed to sandwich n soup combo. lols. the person looks pissed the owner of the shop is 2 men, 1 from malaysia, 1 from singapore. n bside the soup dere was dis brown stick thingy. macy didnt eat hers, i tried mine n it taste sour.
nden timmy bought me macy n jingyi coldstone XD thx loadz timmy~ n den changwon n roy said they want my ice cream. actually, i asked dem first. den i try to give changwon but he keep saying 你不是要吗？n den i ate a bit. n den changwon alredi buy alredi so i give roy.
n den go back to skl. i ask changwon is yur icecream nice. n he said yes. 你要吗？n i said no. cuz mythroat dat time allergic again. but thx anyways.
n den in class, watch finish slumdog. its the third time watching it. n den watch the day the earth stood still. it was soooo exciting. watch a bit den we go down play bball
quite boring. jingyi n macy played with timmy nicholas jimi n two other guyz. i dun reli lke play with ppl i duno. so i play with yangjie. n den i 盖a s1 person XD. but it got boring. so i tlk to changwon for a while. n den listen music. den play with yang jie. he is so damn pro. rough n fast.
n den go home. n den swimminng.
tried to buy a candy from a machine but it stuck. my money went in, n i only got the change of $0.50 back = =the person started shaking the machine. i was even = = it wldnt drop down if u shake dat way. n e person gave us 3 rmb.
n den went home.
haf to study.
end

before i thought being a psychologist was fun, n my mom also tell me to be 1.
but now no. i know how the people feel when they go to one. upset depressed unhappy
now, being a doctor of any kind is the last job i will choose to do. all i want to do is prove to people i can do watever people can do, n better dan dem

childhood

i duno why, but now i sorta choose to face reality.
this is bcuz of wat nic said, n even tho jingyi n macy think dat he shldnt say dat.
i dun wan ppl to think dat im not normal. noooo way.
ms chang told me to tell mr ng bout it, cuz test coming, and its on sin and tan and cos graph.
im sick of telling each new teacher each time about it.
i know all i gotta do is relax. n it'll get better. i hope. at least i know it will. n i wish it will too.
but den im still a bit pissed at wat nic said. and btw, nothin is wrong with my brain. n yah. im normal. n i noe all i gotta do i chill. n relax.
now its lke s3 n im alredi slacking. i need to work harder. esp in maths n sciences and english. others is lke not very very important rite. without maths n sciences wat will u do.
so i muz jia you.
and i know i can do better dan wat ever i am doing now. cuz im minyen. i need to push myself more. plan my time better. but den i feel lke doin it, but i dont == tlkin is no use.
im not worried about anything, but after wat nic said 我感到从梦中醒过来一样，发现reality不是这样的. now i need to improve my grades
mom told me if i study well dis yr she allow me to change skl
im not worried bout dat.
n wen nic said dose things, memories of goin in n out of e damn hospital n clinic makes me pissed. dats y i hate doctors e most no matter wat. esp dat white robe dey wear.
i still remember once, mom brought me to a psychologist cuz i bcame emo n cut myself. i still remember dat. e scene where mom was crying bcuz of me. the times where dad said 你变坏了
n i also remember mom trying to soothe me saying u r normal, all u haf different is a different childhood.
and u no jingyi and macy, sometimes i ask myself. y m i different. ppl ask about it. r u cold min yen? y is your hand...?
the only thing i dont want is pity. i dont want to be pitied cuz im lke a normal person. juz... yah u get wat i mean.
now i understand why bad memories stay longer than good memories. life is short. damn short. no 1 knows when u will die. how u will die. where u go after you die.
but den i know, i wun die before i do wat im suppose to do when im alive. n i know all i gotta do now is study my best. live to the fullest of fullest of my life. i dun care wat ppl say cuz dats wat frenz r for. n i noe the evilest words r the best words.
i am trying to convince myself that im normal cuz i know i am. im trying ways to calm myself down, not get so agitated. den my hand will get better
n if nic sees dis post, all i want to say to him is sry. cuz i didnt reli wan to sorta shout at him.
actually i also want to say thx. cuz if he didnt say dat, i wldnt choose to face reality.
*tries to smile * i dun wan to say dat dis is a forced smile.
i duno wat to say now,
but i know that all i gotta do is do my best in everything, and live on.
i will try to listen wat ppl say to me about it..
i can do it, cuz im min yen.
:]

BRRIIIIIIIIII the fire drill

havent wrote my blog for quite few days. yesterday not alot of tchers came to skl cuz some went to the excursion with the sec 4s so yah. in chineese class we WERE bored. lols. i used sung jun's english bk n started revising vocab. he was playin on the electronic thingy... errr watdya even call dat?
not sure but yah~ n den went to bio sat lke for 10 minutes or sth, n den BRRRIIIIIII!!!!!!!! the alarm went....ok ok its the fire drill. so yah, n den we walked down casually REALLY casually. walked n strolled n tlked with jennifer. n den at the field, we tlk n tlk n tlk..den the ppl left, so we left lah !
now im doing chem. oh yah n i juz tlked to ms johnson, she gave me work to do, a vocab sheet. den she asked me to try to give her the essay tommorow. i think ok lah at least its not that hard right.
oh yah n juz now jingyi show me the bitch grl facebk pic. *scoffs* *scoffs* she duz look lke a bitch.
and yah, she is a bitch lols.
cant blive y the tcher think she is gd. but yah, she is wayyyy not.
but yahh.. who cares bout her. but the person memories is being erased away, at least i hope so, cuz the person is my really good fren. n to think that she has hurt the person b4, i wun allow her to hurt my fren, n to do dat, i wld not even let her do anythin again to my fren. even tho i do not noe who did wat first or who with whoever first, i still think that the person.... er wat m i tlkin bout. but yah. and something i want to say here. if i was that person, i would not with her cuz she is a TOTAL BITCH

even though its first impression of her, i still do not like it no matter wad, cuz she thinks im bad juz the first class, so yah. if i give her a bad impression the begginin of the 1st class, i dun give a dam care. cuz onli thing i noe she flirt so much in class, i think she is a bitch n no matter wat, her impression to me is a BITCH

if the person (my fren) knows what i mean:
its over and its forever over. its not worth it. very not worth it. even tho iduno wats goin on now, but i now, at least i know that u r fitting in with yur life now, moving on with your life, cuz i always see a smile on your face.
n most of all. keep dat smile on yur face always n forever.